THE Magpies went down to a single against their old rivals Croydon on Tuesday night in a dire, uninspiring contest.
Neither side were able to play with any composure or skill, and the ball rarely spent more than a few seconds on the ground.
It is unusual for so many facets of a team to play badly all at the same time. Sometimes the defending is dodgy, other times it is the final pass or the finishing.
However in this contest nothing was as it should be – unless smacking the ball out of the ground has found its way into the coaching manual.
From United's point of view what was even worse was that worringly central defenders Tim Cook and Steve Croxford both limped off during the game.
And it was when both players were of the pitch that the only goal came, even though the match had 0-0 written all over it.
Just as Magpies coach Alan Devonshire had brought on a third striker in Adrian Allen to try to liven up their attacking options, from a Croydon throw-in the ball pinballed around the United area until it fell to Mark Dickinson just outside the area, who calmly placed his shot past Richard Barnard and inside the right hand post.
It was a neat finish to an untidy build-up, but was probably the only peice of composed pllay in the whole game.
Before this both sides had probably had one good chance each, either side of the break, but both had been blazed high and wide.
On 41 minutes United's Morley, with almost his first touch after coming on as a substitute, under hit his backpass to the keeper straight into the path of Nic McDonnell. However the Croydon No.9 steered the ball hopelessly wide.
In the first minute after the interval United had their best moment when the ballrebounded to Barry rake from a Obinna Ulasi shot, but the midfielder got under the ball and from 15 yards blasted it into Bell Street.
The only other sparks of action saw Richard Barnard save well when in a one-on-one, and Ricky Ibe, inside the six yard box, just failed to get his head on an excellent Ulasi cross.
Brian Connor, Jamie Jarvis and Maidenhead Advertiser man of the match Paul Kelly, all produced solid displays in a match that was instantly forgettable.

Teams
Maidenhead United: Barnard, Rose, Connor, Kelly, Croxford, Jarvis, Cook, Ibe, Channell, Rake, Ulasi. Subs: Morley (for Cook, 40), Ferdinand (for Croxford, 55), Allen (for Rake, 71).
Croydon: Martin, Bower, Dickinson, Kingsford, Edwards, Judge, Dickson, Reeve, McDonnell, Stevens, Garland. Subs: Harper (for Garland, 67), Dundas (for Stevens, 84), Richards (not used).